Giving cold calls the cold shoulder isn’t easy when they are never ending ...

The correct answer is ‘fine until you called for the seventh time in the last two weeks and launched into a pre-prepared script that continues regardless of the response.’

I suspect I am not the only one being plagued by cold calls right now. I’m picking on O2 because they’re currently annoying me most, but other mobile companies are just as culpable - maybe they have a rota which gets passed around every few weeks. Without fail, the call comes just when you are busy or engrossed in a box set. They have called so often I feel we should be on first name terms by now - give it a few more months and we’ll be Facebook friends.

It’s all too easy to forget that the person in the other end of the line is just doing their job, and one that can be pretty miserable at times too. I’ve never worked in a call centre but heard many horror stories. I knew someone who worked late nights selling packages for TV coverage of big sporting events, and regularly would have to listen as a bloke asked what she was wearing. Or worse…

I’m sure O2’s call centre teams have heard it all too, but the most common sound must be that sigh of utter despair that greets their cheery opening line. It must be a real balloon-bursting misery to hear that every second call.

If you don’t respond to them asking how your day has been going, they soldier on with a fortitude that is remarkable - either that or the bosses are listening in - and hit the sales pitch faster than Allan Wells exploding out of the starting blocks.And it’s always 20% off, but this week saw a new follow up question - “how much was your last bill, sir?” That’s a tricky one because when you ain’t a customer, 20% of nothing is still, well, nothing.

It must be a good seven or eight years since I went elsewhere, but my name and contact details are clearly destined to float around their systems for evermore. I’ve tried asking to be deleted from their call lists, but they usually hang up before I’ve finished the sentence. Time literally is money to call centres and if I ain’t buying, they ain’t listening.

I once had persistent calls from a Manchester number flogging a similar deal. Exasperated I found their UK office number and gave them the full hairdryer treatment with a demand they take me off their lists. “Sure thing” said the bloke, “but there are 100 companies down here doing the same thing.”

One down, 99 to go. Cold calling is a bit like the game where you whack a mole on the head and another pops up, and another, and another. In tele-sales, no-one can hear you scream …

My wife simply puts her phone down and lets them chunter on until they realise there’s actually no-one there, and an old mate genuinely once accepted an offer of quote for a conservatory and gave them his address. He just forgot to tell them he stayed in a first floor flat.

I guess these companies must generate enough business to keep hitting redial. I just wish they’d put me on mute.